Warning: this post mentions an incident of indecent exposure.
I spent the first 31 years of my life not going to Alabama. Then 32 rolled around and I got sent to the state twice in 11 months.
When I landed at the Birmingham airport in January, early impressions included: “Wow!!! What a nice airport!” then, “oh my god, that’s a penis!”
Not more than 15 minutes into my two hour drive to Selma, I heard a horn honking on the freeway. I was on speaker phone with the photographer I’d be meeting that afternoon to cover the fatal tornado that hit the night before.
This wasn’t my usual type of assignment. I write about travel 99.9 % of the time, but I’m also a volunteer on a team that’s sent to disaster zones to cover breaking news. This was the first time I’d been called up.
So we’re talking logistics and the horn keeps honking. I checked my rearview mirror, nothing. Nothing to my left either. Then I looked right. A fully erect penis was behind the wheel, like the boner was driving the car.
My brain caught up to my eyes and I realized there was a man attached to the penis. He’d reclined the driver’s seat of his white sedan as far back as it could go. He was steering with one hand and masturbating with the other. A second later, he peeled off at the next exit.
In the meantime, by reflex, I’d yelled out what I was seeing to the photographer — a man I’d never met. (For the record: if you are trying to make a professional first impression, I’d hold off on using words like “penis” and “jerking off.”)
I spent the rest of the drive on edge, wondering what the good hell just happened.
But I made it to Selma in one piece, shook off the weirdness, checked into a motel. I met up with the photographer (you can see his great work here!) and spent the next couple days tagging along with firefighters, meeting wonderful people, and reporting out a story I was really proud of.
My second trip to Alabama couldn’t have been more different.
For starters, it was to Scottsboro in the northeastern corner of the state, and it had 100% less penile exposure. And instead of documenting tragedy, I was checking out one of America’s kookiest shopping destinations: Unclaimed Baggage. It’s the only store in the country that sells stuff from people’s lost luggage. The story will be published on By The Way next week, so I won’t spoil any more of it here. Last teaser: it’s bananas.
Despite the wildly different reasons for the Alabama visits, the process of covering them were very similar. Most of my reporting trips go the same way:
Arrive in a new place.
Get a rental car/ Uber/public transportation. Go to another new place, check into an accommodation chosen for its location, not cool factor. Sleep fitfully, worried I’ll miss my alarm and blow the whole trip.
Approach dozens of strangers and say something like: “Hi! I’m a reporter with the Washington Post writing a story about XYZ, I’d love to talk to you about TKTK if you’d like to share how it’s been going for you?” Wait for them to say, “Uhhhh… no thanks” or agree. If they do say yes, record the interview on my phone, thank them for their time, and find the next person.
Take 11,302,203 photos and videos.
Try to eat something special to the region, often alone at a bar.
Go home very tired. Write the story, maybe collaborate on a corresponding video.
AND I LOVE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Even though I inevitably hit a low point on every reporting trip and call my fiancé Dan in tears to weep about how I’m doing a bad job, or something’s not going right, and/or I miss him and I want to come home.
One solid interview later and I’m on top of the world again, elated that I’m living my dream of being a journalist and traveling for work.
Highlights of this trip: 1. seeing the famed Unclaimed Baggage IRL, after covering it since 2020; 2. eating a rib plate from the Joy Delivering SoCo BBQ truck; 3. renting a Jetta like the cool girls in 2009; 4. getting an exit row window seat on the last flight home!!!
And that brings me to the end of my first BLOG POST / NEWSLETTER.
1,000 years ago when I lived in Southeast Asia, I used to share my travel experiences/feelings/learnings on a blog, then stopped when I started writing for money. I’ve missed the outlet and am giving it another go.
So thanks for reading!! And safe travels, wherever you’re going next.
What I’ve been writing:
I write a column every other week called By The Way Concierge where I answer questions from travelers with advice from experts in the appropriate field. This week’s was “do I need travel insurance for my honeymoon?” The answer wasn’t yes, it was YES!!!!!!!!!!! You can read why here.
Flight attendants travel WAY WAY WAY WAY WAY more than I do. So I asked them to debunk some travel myths about upgrades, airplane coffee, etc.
If you want to pretend you’re a character in Practical Magic, The Runaway Bride, Hocus Pocus and other peak fall movies, here’s a story on where to travel accordingly. (It’s an update of a story I wrote in 2019.)
What I’ve been reading:
I recently subscribed to The Atlantic!!! I love Amanda Mull stories and kept hitting the paywall. So I finally leveled up. Now I can read her great work like this, and this, and this, and THIS.
My colleague Andrea Sachs recently wrote this great story on trying Frontier airline’s all-you-can-fly pass. If you’re curious about whether the $599 promo is worth it, her piece is required reading.
A Tweet (or, an X?) caught my eye about the book “Indeterminate Inflorescence” by Lee Seong-bok which is about writing poetry. Do I write poetry? No. But the tips feel applicable to improving any kind of writing.
You're finally on Substack!!! This is the best day -- cannot wait to read more about your adventures! xx
Calling a cord nest a "packing essential" and including the phrase "100% less penile exposure" earned you an immediate subscribe from me. This was absolutely delightful!